Power Rankings Week 9-10: Dave is consistently inconsistent

Oh these ancient skies,

I’ve got these wandering eyes,

But Mead took me by surprise when you let me inside of you.

 

Mead’s team got fucked so hard that someone thought uploaded it to pornhub! They’ll put anything up there these days. But who’d have thunk that the intestinally damaging anal gape Cam Jam threw Mead last week (after he argued to me about his ranking). Just wow…P-Hub really knows what they’re doing.

mead banged by horse

Just want to throw out a fun fact, my game with Mead was the first game all season where the winning team scored the most in Bavaro (for that week), while the losing team scored the least of all the teams.

I thought that stat might have been a little ridiculous. Reminds me of those insane stats that are like:

“This QB is the first ever quarterback to start as a 2nd year qb that came from a small town in ohio with a population of 1,589 people and grew up in a 7 person household while getting a highschool GPA of a 3.134 and a college GPA of 2.234 while throwing 69 interceptions and 420 touchdowns in his total career.”

1st) Chris (7-2)

Nothing new here.

Chris has a comfortable lead in the PFC. He can afford to lose a few. Takes the edge off a little. Gotta stay sharp steeg.

ESPN says that the championship team in most of their fantasy leagues scores an average of 93 points per game. Chris had 97 points last tote, and it was a bad week.

2nd)  Sean (6-3)

Most points. 2nd best record. 2nd overall for now. We shall see. I am worried about my week since a lot of my starters are on bye’s and Cam Newton only scored 14 tonight. You honestly never know with Conor, and I could see him popping off like last week. Fucking annoying that the week he wins and just gets a bit of an edge on the other teams, he is playing me for 1st in the division. God damn annoying.

3rd) Mark (4-5)

Cry about it. The man dime deserves to be up here. My question to mark is, why do you always start out slow and then slowly heat up as the season progresses? (and ‘always’ here basically means that this also happened last year)

But your boy 10 hunna is coming off a 111 point week, and back at 4-5 lost pretty much every other team in this league. Both his total amount and recent outings tells it like it is.

4th) Conor (5-4)

116 points last week. 3rd best record…playing for 1st in divison this week, and has started with a solid Thursday night outing as JuJu scored 16 at his flex spot. I am a little nervous not gonna lie. Especially since I am starting players that are mad risky since my starters are on byes.

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5th) Alex (5-4)

Alexios! I thought for sure I’d be tied for the second best record this week with Alex, but Alex has fallen to 5-4 after going 1-4 in his last 5 games.

Though he’s 3rd in points total, 1-4 in the last 5 his painful.

But in his last 5 games, he really isnt doing too bad in points he’s averaging. He’s avaeraging 90.8 points per game over the last 5, and I would know that for sure because I did the math by hand and I really hope it isnt wrong or I’ll look mad dumb:

6th) Dave

I said ti before, I’ll say it again. Groff daddy is boom or bust. I’ll keep him at 6th because he does have more potential to make the playoffs than the teams ranked 7th-10th…I think.

You can literally bank on Dave booming or busting….these are his last four weeks:

Week 9: 76 points
Week 8: 118 points
Week 7: 59 points
Week 6: 114 points

At least he is consistently inconsistent.

T-7th) Mead 

Despite Mead’s abysmal loss to me, I am keeping him and Mike tied…even though mike did just have a huge week. Mike’s 115 point loss to conor’s 116 points is the very definition of unlucky. But I couldnt put mead in a lower ranking than Mike because he finally has his first round pick, Leonard Fournette, back from Injury. Plus, Christian Mcaffrey really is putting up RB1 numbers. He’s a top 10 Running back now…I don’t hate Mead’s 2nd round Mcaffrey pick looking back now.

Pictures of Mead and horses are my new favorite trend.

But it’s not Ryan’s fault my team would have beaten anyone that week. But then again, his 67 points would have lost to literally any team.

 

T-7th) 

Jim Halpert Dwight Schrute GIF - JimHalpert DwightSchrute MichaelScott GIFs

9th) James

Jim’s on a HOT 2 game win streak, despite scathing by with an 84 point dub this week. To Jimmy’s credit, he deserved a low scoring win considering he had a 104 point loss to Dave.

That being said, just like that he has some breathing room from the marathon. Honestly, a Win this week might throw Jim into playoff contention.

Part of me feels bad for bashing Jim (again), and part of me just thinks THERE’S NO MERCY IN MBL TRASH TALK. That said, Jim did put up a respectable 97 points last week, but the week before that was that appalling 46 point week.

Jim could start getting hot as Dez Bryant was signed this week. How will he do? I mean, the Saints score a bazillion points and I am sure there’s enough to share with Dez. But still, he has to learn the playbook before doing anything…and there is always the chance that he’ll stink. Didnt he stink in his last year with the Cowboys.

10th) Peter

First to worst:

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Such an unlucky team. Pete put up 83 points this week which is not a lot, but isnt the worst by any means.

And the reason I call his loss this week unlucky is beacause of who he played. Not that chris scored anything so ridiculously high that no one could have ever beaten him (scored 97 pts).

What is unlucky is that, in 3/5 of the games last week, the loser scored less than pete’s 83. So if he swapped who he played with Dave (76 pts) Mead(67 pts)  or Alex (72 pts), he’d have a win.

From first to worst.

 

Power Rankings: whoa, we’re halfway there!–Bon Jovi

1st of all, I gotta say my thoughts and prayer’s are with the Groff family as they lost a member of their clan this weekend. My family put down our dog the moment she needed surgery because they didn’t want to pay for it. Through Sadie’s many ailments over the years, the Groff’s never hesitated to get Sadie the medical care she needed. While most people would have given up, the Groff family did not give up on their girl giving. There aren’t many families that would administer insulin shots to their dog everyday. I know my family would have just let her go. They say that dog owners should keep in mind that the dog may be a part of your life, but the owner is the dog’s entire life. There was no better family to be Sadie’s entire life than the Groff’s.

D-Train and Suz grew up with Sadie; Sadie was with the family for most of their live’s. Losing a dog hurts just as much as losing any family member. Anything you or your family need’s D-train. All of us are here for you.

 

 

Rankings: Post Week 8

I wish the NFL regular season wasn’t halfway done. But it is. Such is life. Idk I feel sad right now for a variety of reasons.Why does it feel like the NFL goes by in an instant and it feels like every other sport plays 10/12 months?

Anyway, didn’t put out any power rankings last week, but i wrote them down. So without explanations, i’ll attach last weeks rankings at the end.

But I compiled a table of stats and then just made decisions based solely on that….don’t even know who is on half your teams. Jk. I don’t feel good about myself rn. I already said that. I am saying it again because they say writing things down in a journal or expressing yourself in someway about it will make  you feel better. Did it make me feel better?

 

The rankings through midseason is based on this data:

Rank
MANAGER!
Record
Points Scored
Games scored >100 pts
Games Scored <80 pts
1st Chris 6–2 823 4 1
2nd Alex 5–3 814 3 1
3rd Dave 4–4 786 4 3
4th Sean 5–3 796 4 1
5th Mark 3–5 759 4 3
6th Mike 4–4 723 3 2
7th Mead 4–4 695 3 4
8th Pete 2–6 734 3 3
9th Conor 4–4 701 3 3
10th Jim 3–5 661 2 3

 

Oopsies! that says everyones ranking too. W/e.

  1. Chris

tenor

Ya I dont think anyone has any objection here. Chris has the best record and most points. Yes Alex is 1 game back and only 9 points behind Chris, but Chris has more games with more than 100 points. His dub’s we’re blowouts.

Plus, kid has Gurley and Mahomes. Garunteed 50 points minimum per game. Just this week it got him 53. Mahomes and Gurley alone this week would have beaten:

—Jim in week 6
—Conor in week 6
—Mark in week 3

So basically Chris needs the rest of his lineup just to basically not score 0 points, and it doesnt look like that will be hard considering these are what he’s working with:

Phillip Lindsay
Jordan Howard
Sony Michel (out)
Nick Chubb
Davante Adams
Alshon Jeffrey

2. Alex.

See Above. Tied for the 2nd best record, almost has the highest number of points. Nothing new here.

Image result for underdog movie

Woof. Get it?

Worth noting that Alex put up 130 points this week despite AP (24 pts) and African Country-Hip-Hop-Rapper AKA Kenyan Drake (20 pts) benched.

 

3. Dave (4-4)

Groff is super boom or bust, as you can see by the latter 2 categories. The decision here was basically based on Dave’s team versus mine. I basically chose Dave’s team because The Flukes have been hot. In the last 4 games, he’s averaging 105 pts per game, and 3 of 4 of those games we’re above 114.

Image result for fuck you dave

4. Sean (5-3)

Despite having a better record, more points, and beating Dave, I can’t, in good conscience, rank myself higher. Most of his busts come from the beginning of the season. Most of my booms just barely slither by the 100 pt minimum.

Plus, his one loss in the last 4 games was to me, and he just happened to bust at 59. Lmao that sounds wrong. Would’ve been funnier if it was 69.

5. Mark (3-5)

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The fact that Jimmy and Mark have the same record is a crime.

Mark has unlucky, high scoring losses. He’s got the same boom to bust ratio as Dave but has been unlucky in that he’s lost a couple of the games he’s boomed. He has 759 total points which isnt that far behind Dave or I.

T-6. Mead

T-6. Mike

Lotta factors we’re considered. Mike has more points, less busts, their boom count is the same, but two of Mead’s games with 100 or more points consisted of him scoring 100. If I didnt include the equal to part of the greater than or equal to expression, he’d only have 1 boom.

HOWEVER, recency bias baby. You gotta consider that Mike’s booms we’re in the beginning of the season, Mead’s we’re more recent. Mike is 1-3 in the last 4 games, Mead is 3-1. This si Mead’s redeeming factor. Wouldnt be suprised if Mead is #5 next week. I respect it.

Are you happy now.

Image result for you both suck

8. Pete (2-6)

To this day, I think Pete is getting bad Juju. Probs from the trophy, but he’s fixed that. What are the odds that Jameis gets benched this week? Seriously?

He’s 8th in front of Gow and Conor because the point comparisons speak for themselves.

Pete also has had 2 games where he scored more than 100 ponts and lost. Unlucky.

Honestly, looking at it now I like Pete’s overall numbers better than Mead’s, but I’ll keep him at 6th because dem boyz hot.

Image result for voodoo mama juju

Voo doo mama juju holding juju. I did not make this. Using the same pic for conor (but smaller) bc he got juju

9. Conor

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3 game losing streak for a reason!

No clue when conor acquired Dalvin Cook. Something I’ll have to look in to…seem slike Conor is using his old login powers of ex-commissioner under my nose. Or maybe I accepted it and I don’t recall. Idk.

But Conor’s string of luck had to come to an end. Never trust a bear. Conor trusts 3 in his starting lineup:

-Mitch

-Tarik

-Bears D.

Hmmm

Image result for don't trust a bear

 

10. Jim

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Why is Zeke in a toilet

I’m sorry jim. You’ve been 10th in the rankings the last 3 weeks. I am worried that you think I put you last just because you we’re close to losing the last few years and lost 2 years ago, but it rlly just comes down to the amount of points your team puts up and your overall record. I am sorry. Kinda.

I feel bad for you and pete and mark especially because all 3 of you are 3-5 or worse and you 3 have legit jobs in NYC and don’t have time for fantasy. While you are working on your career, I am sitting sitting in a pointless class tinkering with my lineup.

Shouldnt have gotten real jobs. Sucks 2 suck!

Power Rankings Wks 6-7: A Punishment You Want to Run From

It is with a heavy heart that I report to you, that the name, the “Spring Lake Anal Pliers” has officially been de-commissioned and will be immediately retired from our organization. Upon recieving the news of the name’s retirement, we immediately put a plan into action to create both a Jersey with SLAP’s name, in addition to a massive poster in remembrance of the many wins and championship said team brought us to.

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Secondly, many of us think that the best option for the punishment right now is the marathon. While it will fucking suck for wheoever loses, it’s especially bad because you have to literally dedicate yourself for months so you can finish it.

Personally, I think a marathon is such a fucking long distance. When I run the Spring Lake 5 I am god damn gassed at the end–and that was back when I wasn’t a tub of lard. But honestly, I could use a few months of running. I could use it, but I absolutely dont fucking want to. It’s exactly like Jimmy not preparing for Fantasy. He knows that it’ll be good for him, but he doesn’t feel like it.

But if we end up doing the marathon punishment, it looks like Pete is sprinting a marathon to the starting line (la-mow [lmao]). Honestly, there could not be anyone funnier than Pete losing this year. It is honestly comical how much Pete detests running long distances. I can just picture us watching Pete run laps and seeing him across the way and drooping his head down all depressed.

Anyway, we have two options. Option A is getting them to sign up for a Marathon and us all going out and watching. Option B is for the loser to run 26.2 miles as laps around a track. I personally like the lap idea because I think findiing a marathon might be tough because most runs have lottery systems for their runners because they can be so sought after. Conor and I’s old teacher at Mountz was trainging to run a marathon with her friend, and they had to do it somewhere in Florida because they didnt get the lottery in new york, philly, or Atlantic city. But then again, those are major cities so.

Other option is to have the loser run around a track somewhere.I have been researching places for the person to do it because every track around here is at a school. So i looked up places around here with public grills for barbecue because I know people do that shit and it’s allowed. Riverfront Park in Point is the only place I could find that has a track with recorded distance (to make sure we know how many laps it would take to run a marathon there) and a place for picnic’s and barbecues that we could tailgate at and wouldn’t get hassled with the cops for beers. Image result for riverfront park point pleasant

Related image

The track is 1/3 of a mile around, so 78.6 laps around gets you that sweet marathon length.

I still want other people’s thoughts. Lets get to it.

Here are the Power Rankings.

  1. Son of Nurse Fastiggi’s

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DEM BOYZ IS HOT! Chris takes his place at #1 with a 146 point W to confirm that they’re meant to be there

2. Alex

Still 4-2, tied for first. Though he took an L this week, he didnt have a bad week as

3-T. Dave

#1 in points. His record doesn’t match it because he’s had a few rough ones, but the last two games hes been heat and for good reason.

3-T. Mark

By far the hottest in the game right now. Don’t think I need to explain why he is here. Mark started out slow last year, but came back, and this year he fixed the mistakes early. Let’s see if he can continue the winning streak.

5. conor (4-2)

I mean, 4-2. Tied for 1st, but woof with that 48 point game.

6. Sean 3-3

Hitting a low point last week, It was quite the morale booster to hit 140 points this week. That good good week. Big dick week.

7. Mead 3-3

Best of the worst right here.

8. Mike

3 game losing streak Brother….of Jimmy! Though he had Brees and Thomas out this week, and Le’veon has just announced yet ANOTHER delay for his return. Chaz Michael Michael over here needs to pick it up.

9. Jim

Jim finds himself as the runner up for the punishment again! Jim! pick it up! I don’t want you running the marathon because you’ll 100% actually commit to it and end up doing it well. It would be annoying. If jim had to do the marathon we should defintely try and get him into the Atlantic city one and gamble all night the night before.

10. Pete

Still the unluckiest team in MBL, TBH. I mean really, how often do you have 2 good weeks in a season where you score more than 100 points and lose. It usually happens to every manager at least once a season, but how often is it that 2 of your first 6 games are high-scoring games that if you were playing someone else, you’d have won.

Must be bad Ju-ju smith schuster that the trophy is stored with Petyr.

As far as the trophy goes and leah herself, there may not be a curse a-brewing, but there seems to be a correlation. Jimmy…the one year he gets with her. Boom, punished. The next year, Dave has that fateful fiesta where he got down and dirty in the mud with her. Boom, punished. This year Pete holds the trophy when he is not the trophy champion…it’s like trying to use Thor’s hammer without being Thor. Thor’s hammer deems when someone is worthy enough to hold it. And this year, Pete’s 1-5 team was deemed not worthy by the Dimartini.

Still, he was unlucky. So we’ll see if he can stage a comeback. I think mark did it when he was 0-5? or 1-6? Whatever, he still made the playoffs with ease I think.

 

 

Power Rankings Going in to Week 6: The big jump

You fuck my mother?

 

 

RIP Yanks.

We really need to get the punishment. I’m thinking about everyone writing one down and sending it to me and then creating a poll and we all vote–you won’t see who came up with what and who voted what, but you can’t vote your own (i’ll be the only one to know who voted what).

I’ll abstain from voting as commish to set up the whole thing.

Plus, we’ll have 9 people voting, so if we narrow it down to 2 potential punishments, then there would be a clear majority of at least 5 minimum votes (so 5 votes for as the minimum bc need majority).

Lmk what you think of this idea.

UPDATE: almost forgot to say that these rankings are called “the big jump” because Dave was all the way down at 8th and now….well, you’ll see!!!!!!!!!!! It isnt a good name, but I didnt really have anything funny to say when I started writing this, so if you really are complaining, all I have to say is: you fuck my mother

 

1. Alex (4-1)

 

Clear Number 1. Got his first L, but a very unlucky outing as Kamara and Devonta Freeman each got 3 points….I mean, how often does that happen.

Alex still has the most points scored. He has the 2nd overall rb in points scored, the #1 WR (Adam Thielen), the #4 WR (Tyfreak), and the #9 overall RB (Carlos Hyde).

Thats four #1’s. Literally an RB1, RB1, WR1, WR1 in his lineup. And his flex is Devonta Freeman…an RB2 with RB1 potential.

 

2. Dave (2-3)

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That’s a hearty 2-3.

Dave is tied with Conor for 2nd most points–additionally, this is the 2nd week dave’s team was the top scorer.

But as long as James Conner is on his team and Le’Veon stays inactive, Dave is a strong opponent. This is now the 2nd time dave has outscored everyone. But honestly,  while he may have done better than most, these we’re his numbers last week from his top scorers:

A-rog: 28
Saquon: 24
Conner: 30
Cooper Kupp:15
Ingram: 19

Bank on more plus 100 point games.

 

3. Conor

Image result for weed guy

What we thought was a lucky streak turns out to be no luck at all, but good managing! Conor is keeping it together! Gave Alex his first L!

Conor has been churning em out despite not having his RB1, Dalvin Cook. His investment in Goff has been proving useful, ODB and Juju put up solid numbers each week. While Conor seems to be looking for runningbacks since his rb2 position is weak.

Honestly, if Goff, the bears, OBJ, JUJU keep playing well and Dalvin gets healthy, Conor might ust find himself 1st overall in the standings.

However, despite getting the dub against Alex, Alex had an unlucky week of putting up his lowest score of 75. But honestly, how often will Devonta freeman and Kamara combine for 6 points?

 

4. Chris (3-2)

Image result for the daily double gif

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A nice 3-2 by boushbo. He put up a nice 99-er game for the Dub this week against Pete. Honestly, with Mahomes and Gurley being this hot, Chris can rest easy knowing that he just needs Davante Adams and Alshon Jeffrey to put up like anything.

 

5. Jim (2-3)

Image result for actually good

Jim’s team is actually good. His 2-3 record is honestly unfortunate. He put up 104 points this week, and any other week or other game he’d be sitting nicely at 3-2. Don’t let being .400 fool ya

 

6. Mark (2-3)

Image result for dimes funny gif

Despite being 6th, Mark’s team is by FAR the hottest team in the league with the biggest turnaround. After having a 51 point week, Mark has now had two weeks in a row of 100+ points, averaging 129.5 per tote (over the last two weeks). That’s more than Dave this week, which was the highest scoring team.

But, the question is, can Mark sustain this intensity? Or will we see the 51 point team creep back?

Signs point to: Maybe

 

7. Mike (3-2)

 

Is it time to hit the panic button?

While Mike might be saying no, consider this: Mikey has averaged 79 points per tote over the last two weeks and is on a 2 game losing streak.

Ya boy predicts a 3rd game of losing depending on who he is playing since his bread and butter, the Drew Brees to Michael Thomas Connection, is on a bye this week. One must wonder how well Mike will do without his precious saints.

Mike has room to be optomistic with rumors of Le’veon coming back soon, but until then, he must stay afloat.

He should make his name Need to Keep it Together!

 

8. MeadE (2-3)

Big-E-profile

Scored high this week. And last week.

Still don’t like your team. Players i can’t trust ya know? If mead scores above 100 next week, he’ll have deserved a top 6 spot in my book. But I just need that evidence of consistency. He beat mike…though as I hve said, Mike is on the decline.

Mead jumped up 2 spots in my book. Don’t bitch like always.

 

9. Pete (1-4)

1-4.

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Pete’s schedule has been so hard, both in regards to managers in the MBL, and his players matchups in the NFL. I still think he’s a good team playing bad.

But 1-4 is 1-4…speaks for itself.

 

10. Sean (2-3)

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71 points this week. Lowest of any team. Lowest of any season. Lowest in PR.

 

Week 4 Rankings: Nurse Fastiggi is Elbow Deep in Chris Fastiggi, D-TrainWreck, and Conor’s Sex Face

Okay first of all, sorry to the boys for being MIA this weekend. Lost my phone on friday. Found it broken on saturday. Got a new one on Monday.

Paige apparently knocked on my house door and no one got the door. I defintely wasnt home. She said she knocked because she saw that my car was home, but Ive been driving bridget’s car because my car is literally like a dumpster fire, waiting to be lit. Seriously, the amount of old fast food in there could feed New York’s homeless for a week. Not that they’d be eating that food, just saying there’s a lot of it.

Secondly, all of the week 4 winners scored 100 points or more. Facts. Mine may have just hit the list with 100, but imagined stats are imagined stats. The differnce between seasons last year and this year, considering it was impossible for any team to get hot last year, and this year it’s like everyone is scoring in the hundo’s.

They key is who can consistently bring it to the table…that is what get’s the Dubs…and that’s pretty much everything these rankings are based on. Here we go.

 

 

1. Conor

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Why does conor always make this face after he fucks someone????

Need to get it together has turned into need to keep it together as Conor has found himself on top of the power rankings and leaderboads.

While you might ask yourself, “Wait how isnt alex #1?  ” Sheer consistency. Conor is hot in the streets. Here are their scores last four weeks:

Playaaaaaas Wk1 Score Wk2 Score Wk 3 Score Wk 4 Score
Conor 74 101 117 116
Alex 132 95 91 114

No doubt Alex is putting up noombers, but ya just cant ignore Conor scoring >101 points since week 2.

2. Alex

Alex Dominated Chris like a puppet master dominates a puppet.

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squint and you can barely see chris

Now, now, this isnt knocking Alexander the Queen.Nurse Fastiggi is doing the exact opposite of what a nurse does. A nurse helps people, Nurse Fastiggi is leaving every team for dead. Alex giving out cough drops to treat stab wounds and isnt regretting it.  Right on Conor’s tail is the exact opposite of “The underdog” so long as Alvin Kamara keeps putting up numbers. Word is that he is getting offensive player of the month.

Only team that is 4-0. If 91 is your lowest score than you are in good shape.

3. Mike

Oh, how the Mikey have fallen. A brutal outing of 67 points could have been worth two losses against man dimes 152 points.

But everyone has bad weeks. Considering his first 3 games he put up 109, 104, and then 118, you can be sure that he is gonna keep putting up numbers and be in contention for a top seed. Also, he did all this with leveon bell out. And word is that he is gonna be coming back.

4. Don’t Four-get your boy.

Okay for the 4th spot I initially looked at all the 2-2 teams, and when I didnt love them for 4th, I compared us to the 1-3 teams. Putting myself 4th is solely due to consistency. Here are the 2-2 teams scores over the last four weeks:

Playaaaaas Wk1 Wk2 Wk3 Wk4
Jim 87 89 106 78
Chris 75 130 86 82
Sean 92 101 92 100

Jim and Chris…. you don’t know what you’re gonna get.

Choppin down the competition!

5. Jimmy G

And we aint talking that ACL tearin cuck Goroppolo.

Honestly, it’s as if Jim and Chris’s weekly scores we’re switched. If you look at solely their 4 scores, the put up very similar numbers. HOWEVER, I have Jim with the slight edge for a few reasons. For starters, Jim is trending upwards. Also,  Jim wrongfully believed in Fitz-Tragic, and if he put in Deshaun, he’d have scored 106 points.

While it was a good week for Deshaun and you know he isn’t going to score 31 points a week and also you cant consider how bench points do, Deshaun has scored 31, 24, 22 in the last 3 weeks. Jim subs d-wat in, with a W next week, he might be 3rd. But jim is Jim, kid loves bonehead risks so we shall see.

Jim’s non 100+ scores are higher than Chris’s non-100+ scores (87 89 78, compared to 86, 86 75).

Also, Jim has head to head record.

6. Pete

What?!?!?? you just talked about Chris forever?? Why the hell is Pete ahead of Chris.

Playaaaaas Wk1 Wk2 Wk3 Wk4
Chris 75 130 86 82
Pete 119 73 75 119

 

See above. Chris has been okay, obviously his 130 points win was eye opening, but a lot of the league’s teams have a crazy high score. I mean, how often is an 86 or an 82 worth a garunteed win? not often. I have Pete ahead of Chris because I’d rather take my luck with a team that is the Desean Jackson of Fantasy getting 119 points or mid 70’s, rather than a team that’s like Doug Baldwin or Dolphins’ Jarvis landry getting an ok score of mid 80’s each week.

What I am trying to say is Chris has more scores that are consistently higher, but Chris has gotta be a little worried since he knows the mid 80 point scores  arent enough for a W’s. Pete would be 2-2 if he didnt play Alex week 1. Yes it’s unlucky and that is just what happens, but it becomes about scoring enough points to get a garunteed win, and Pete has 2 of those and Chris has 1.

7. Chris

See Above.

Reminder of what you quickly scrolled past before:

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squint and you can barely see chris

 

8. Dave-ja vu

D-Train wreck

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After a monstrous week 1, D-Train jinxed himself with a bad omen after week 1. I specifically recall big D saying “I was the highest scorer in week 1 last year but we all know how that ended.”

Though he scored in the 90’s this week at the end of his 3 game losing streak, one must wonder, should Dave be worried as he is losing James Conner soon?

Probs not because of ingram. But still… 3 game losing streak…. groff needs a W.

9. Mark

Man dime came out of the mountains to beat who many thought was sitting nicely on top. Mikey G thought he was walking in to a garunteed dub since anyteam that puts up a 51 point week has gotta be a losing squad.

WRONG. Finally mark’s team comes to play and gets 152 points. He’d have beaten Mike 2x over. But I got him at 9th because his track record aint pretty. Despite having a game with the most points scored in the league, he still has the least points scored at 51. Talk about no consistency.

I would say to Mark to prove me wrong next week and score a lot so he’d be higher in the rankings, but he’s playing me. So pls dont do that. I’d love to play a 51 point scoring man dime team.

10. WorstE inE theE leagueE

Stinks. Moving to 1-3. Averaging 83 points a game thanks to his only 100 point game/dub. While Chris and Mead would have two very different looking records if one beat the other in week 3 (Chris beat Mead 86-85), my point about consistency stands. Chris also is averaging 93.5 pts per game.

 

Weekly Picks (Week 3)

mlk-600x260

$10 to bet.

If you pick all 5 winners of each matchup correctly you get the total pot from that week.

If no one picks all 5 winners correctly, then the money transfers to the pot for the next week, so the amount you could win grows every week that no one gets it perfectly accurate.

If more than 1 person gets it, then the pot splits, but I have been doing these the last two weeks and it’s hard to pick it accurately.

Screenshot (50)

 

Also, we should start betting against eachother on individual spreads and over/unders.

For example:

↣I’d take Conor to cover +14.5 against mark.

↣I’d also take the over of me and Mike’s game at 182

 

Power Rankings Weeks 2-3, the 5 Tiers of Hell

You to anyone in MBL chat that tries to talk shit after a bad loss:

Image result for screaming fuck gif

Tier 1

1st) Alex

2nd) Mike

Explanation is simple really. Only two teams that havent lost and theyre the only two teams that have scored above 210 points already.

Tier 2:

I have decided to stop explaining the rankings.

3rd) Chris

Tier 3:

Tie 4th-6th) Pete

Tie 4th-6th)Dave

Tie 4th-6th) Sean

 

Tier 4:

Tie 6th-9th)Jim

Tie 6th-9th) Conor

Tie 4th-6th) Mead

TIER 5

10th) Mark