Power Rankings–Week 6

I am about 90% sure Eli Manning commented on our first post of site. Eli must google the names of all ex-giants and see what they’re doing just so he knows what he’ll do in the future. Burn.

Just a few things to say before we get into the list that doesn’t really matter. Well, I like to think it does because teams that do well week I and week out get some validation and the  teams that stink get reminded that they stink.

I am pretty sure that only a select few read the rankings in full week in and week out. So as a special i’m gonna throw in a prediction about how much each person actually reads these things.

Okay finally, just a fun fact.  There are four teams that have scored 400+ points and five teams who have scored in the 400’s.

DIME IS STILL IN THE FUCING 300’s.

(Quicklist) Rankings:

  1. Mike
  2. 🙂
  3. Jim
  4. Alex
  5. Dave
  6. TIE–Chris/Mead

8. Conor

9. Pete

10. Mark

 

Explanations, yo

1st) Mike

PR Prediction: mike likely reads the power rankings and thinks they’re funny but never responds. I also think that he likes seeing his name at number #1 but wouldn’t call us all bitches for being under him.

OK–though YA BOY has the best record, I couldn’t put myself at #1 for two reasons:

  • I only have the SECOND highest scored points (550), only Mike has more than me at 559
  • Mike has 515 points scored against him, while I only have 440–in my defense, I was Mark’s opponent during his abysmal 30 point week.
  • The top team in the rankings seems to be cursed. Dave was put at the top after going 2-0, he went on a 3 game losing streak. Mike has been atop the ranks the last two weeks and is now sporting a 2 game losing streak.
  • I am Not superstitious, but I’m a little stitious.
  • As for his squad, his RB’s are doing better than i expected and Brees and AB are being themselves

Having scored 9 more points than me and dealing with 515 PA, I still am putting mike on top.

2nd) Ya boy

PR Prediction: I write the damn thing and still think they lowkey suck. At least it’s not the fucking trash that Bleacher Report puts out.

  • Ad for my team, I Already went Mike’s explanation. What i will say about myself is that I am now the commissioner and #1 in the “ESPN” standings. With great Power comes great responsibility.
  • I am a GOD at managing. Just so you remember the absurdity that is my team: Kirk Cousins, Russel Wilson, Lesean McCoy, Kareem Hunt, AJ Green, Keenan Allen, Will Fuller, leg blount/frank gore/tevin coleman, and Amari Cooper (who is looking like the alshon jeffrey of last year).

3rd) Jim

PR Reading Prediction: I think that Jim probably reads the power rankings, but doesn’t think they’re that funny. He might get a chuckle or two out of it, but I think he thinks that they’re pointless and when he sees that I’ve made them, says, “who has the time for that?”

  • Jim is the clear #3. He is #1 in his division and has scored the third most points.
  • HUGE game for him this week against his bro… with a Jim W, there could be a HUGE shakeup in the Power Rankings
  • Jim has the true Big #: TB12, Leonard, Mike Evans

4th) Alex

PR Reading Prediction: I know Alex enoys the content of this league and always makes sure to see it all. When it comes to PR, he def checks his uicklst ranking and then reads the content that isnt about sports. The sports shit he just skims.

  • Alex’s team is here because i don’t like any of the other 3-3 teams.

5th) Dave

PR Reading Prediction: probably read the first few, but not any recently. If you were to ask him if he’d read the rankings, which of the following would most likely be his answer?

A) No, not yet, I have had too much work

B) No, I didnt see that they were up… what did they say?

C) I’m a little behind… im gonna read 3-6 this weekend

D) Well…here’s the thing… sometimes I get so caught up with constantly shaking and losing and clawing my way out of the friendzone that i sometimes forget.

E) They;re the same thing over and over again and honestly, Sean isnt that funny.

  • Uh again, not the biggest fan of Dave’s team as of recent.  Groff didnt preform too well this weekend and was bailed out by a massive game by his kicker
  • Ajayi and Demarco Murray havent done well. Dolphins get down too early and Demarco just has been on and off–especially with derrick Henry licking his ear
  • WR’s suck. Tyfreak is solid but
  • Matty Ice has got to play well at some point.
  • Totally could see his team changing if AP is legit taking DJ’s spot
  • I’m a little nervous TBH for dave this week: CJ anderson@chargers , Ajayi against Jets, TyFreak@Oak… little nervous
  • AP has got the tough matchup against the Rams so we’ll see…. wait i forgt if the rams have a good defense or not

6th–Mead

PR Reading Prediction: if it is over  few pages, Mead looks at it and says, “no fucking way I’m reading all of this.”

  • Though only 2-4, he still has the zombie Davante Adams, Carson Wentz who is killing it, and a top5 Melvin Gordon. And Ertz is good apparently
  • His team’s been fairly boom or bust, having 3 games of 90+ (one of which was 121) and 3 in the 60’s
  • Oh um who said he was boom or bust back in the week 2 power rankings? Yeah i did bitches

6th–Chris

PR Reading Prediction: Takes one look at the article and says, “Let’s see what cold ass takes Sean

has to make this week” or “Sean has the content skils of a 6th grader.”

  • BIGGGG Week for Steeg. Jerrick Mckinnon is  champ. Devonta Freeman is a sav. Alex Smith might be the MVP. And he demolished that trade and got a reputable WR (Dez)  in the process. Plus Stefon diggs back?! C’mon man!
  • We’ll see how the Boush does this week. Have him teetering at 6th because I do think that the moves that were made have proven to work.
  • Chris’s season should be optomistic as his next matchups are ranked 8th-10th.

8th–Conor

PR Reading PRediction: Conor sees that the rankings are posted and sayd, “ok… my amazing pickups have to put me higher 10 and make me miraculously good at sex.”

  • Top 5 in PR was straight fake news.
  • It was partly due to me wanting the stir up some shit in MBL and get the ratings up and wanting his players to do well. But conor’s team is ass again
  • FUCK YOU CUMBY

9th–Pete

PR Reading Prediction: Reads the Power Rankings just to see how the stimulant powered brain works and read what i used to base my power rankings off of considering the fact that half the time they make no sense and contradict policies I have come up with in the past, to which i say, THERE IS A GOD DAMN DISCLAIMER IN THE BEGINnING FOR A REASON

  • OBJ and A-Rog gone. Dak cannot take the best QB in the NFL’s place.
  • Zeke will be gone soon, but Pete is safe for now while Zeke appeals the appeal. Ya.
  • Carlos Hyde about to score all of them.

When i was super hungover in Gainesville, I told Pete I couldnt feel my leg and was freaking out. He looks at me and goes, “Go have a stroke somewhere else buddy, you’re bumming out the vibe.” I legit panicked. Thank you Pete.

10th–Mark

PR Reading PRediction: Doesn’t read the power rankings because, “I don’t need to see Sean make fun of my awful team 15x like every week”

  • 30 Point game.

 

 

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Seany Mac

After everyone's efforts, I am Officially Aware of Cancer.

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