Power Rankings Weeks 8-9

No one man should have all that power.

Jim pay your fuckin dues.

Dave openly admitted to not reading either the rankings or the newsletter. Lazy ass. Head Ass.

Anyway, heres a boring story you already know:

I finished my rookie season without a win. The biggest bust of all time. After weeks of not setting a lineup, I was discovered. Davey-wan-Kenobi told me that I needed to study, needed to set weekly lineups, needed to look out for who to pick up and start.

I rose up and won the championship over the undefeated Pete. He went 15-1 that season. I was told that the fantasy force was strong with me. Rumors spread amongst the townsfolk that I was the one the prophecy called for.

I was the prince who was promised. I walked into the championship the following season, I was told that I had to defend the league. The Sith Lord of the League, Conor, took me under his wing after recognizing the power I had. Davey-wan-Kenobi defeated me in battle, destroying me.


Last year I struggled, barely made the playoffs at 5-8. I was living off of one limb. And then, I was reborn.

Screen Shot 2017-11-01 at 7.13.09 PM

The Sithlord Conor relinquished all of his power unto me. Doing so, he created Darth Sean. Lord McNamara and the Empire was born.

Do you believe in coincidences? The same year I am made commissioner, I soar to first, and currently have a two game lead (minimum) on the rest of you bitches.


  1. Ya Boy
  2. Alex`
  3. Mike
  4. Chris
  5. Conor
  6. Mead
  7. James
  8. Mark
  9. Pete
  10. Dave


  1. Yaboy
  • Welp, most points, best record, amazing bench and starting lineup
  • Didn’t want to crown myself #1, but I just had to.
  • Haven’t had a game under 90 since week two, most of which were 100+

2. Alex

  • Team is hot and slowly progressing
  • However,  he might get a run for his money because of byes

3. Mike

  • Though mike has scored 2nd most points, his team has been weak these last few weeks
  • Look for Mike to bounce back this week against Conor

4. Chris

  • Still keeping Chris top5 after those two stellar weeks he had because Alex Smith was shut down, Devonta had an off week, and his WR’s didn’t produce
  • That said, he has MVP candidate Alex Smith, Devonta Freeman and Jordan Howard, hot as hell Ingram, and surprisingly, Mckinnon has scored 19-20 points in three of the last 4 weeks.

5. Conor

  • Conor’s team is fairly boom or bust. If Deshaun can dominate and his team can produce average scores than Conor can score in the 90’s. Without Deshaun, his team is rough.
  • Still like Kornheiser better than Conor’s team. More potential. We shall see.

6. Mead

  • Because Mead’s team just keep’s hanging on
  • 93 points last week
  • 90 in week 6
  • 121 in week 5
  • Melvin Gordon is top 5

7. James

  • Because what the hell Happened Jim?
  • Last two weeks have been horrid
  • TB12 isn’t playing that well.
  • Fournette is finally back, but without him, Jim had no RB’s.
  • Marshawn isn’t that great.
  • That said, Jim could bounce back because he still has Mike Evans, Deandre Hopkins (28 points last week and playing Colts this weekend) Forunette, and ya know, TB12

8. Mark

  • BIG week from Mark. Is the dime back???
  • No longer is the last. Needs a Win this week to thwart him from the bottom of the pile. But things are looking up in terms of spray tan
  • Screen Shot 2017-11-01 at 8.11.14 PM

9. Pete

  • I will put Pete not last because he’s got Dak, but other than that, he has no one. I know for a FACT he is trying to make moves right now (leak) so we’ll see in the future.
  • But right now, When Dak doesn’t play well, the team doesn’t. And Zeke is gone. Still, he has both Alfred Morris and McFadden, and most RB’s behind that offensive line can do well, so he’s still a top20 RB
  • When it rains, it pours for Carlos Hyde

10. Dave

  • We all know Dave just can not catch a break. Since Dave’s 2-0 start, these have been his scores:
    • Week 3–64 (Loss)
    • Week 4– 48 (loss)
    • Week 5–43 (loss)
    • Week 6– 86 (W)
    • Week 7– 75 (loss)
    • Week 8– 51 (loss)
  • Huge names on his team that just are not producing. Rough break with Jay Ajayi (BACKUP to Blount).


Published by

Seany Mac

bless me father for I have Sinnn-amon toast crunch every morning for breakfast

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