…like you know you’re goin get got, but you’re goin get mine more than you get got doe.
Thought about not doing the rankings this year considering it takes forever and because no one reads the rankings when we git to the middle weeks.
If we’re being brutally honest, probs the biggest reason I thought about not doing these is because my doctor switched me to a different adderall medication because it helped with my insurance or some shit and it doesnt work as well. The only thing I can focus on is playing Fifa for 12 straight hours.
Richard Sherman committed to Stanford on the contingency that they would supply him with an endless supply of addy because he would’ve gotten a -10.0 GPA without addy and professor study guides.
But it’s not goodbye, it’s see you later (you already know I am having my doctor next month switch me back). So next month I’ll be back to focusing on things that are NOT actually school work I need to do, such as feverishly writing these rankings.
Anyway, let’s get to it.
The curse of number one:
Whether you’re superstitious or a little stitious, there was a strange pattern that emerged. If you we’re ranked #1 for a couple of weeks in the PR, your team was bound endure some misfortune to follow.
Dave got ranked 1st in the first two weeks.
- He lost the season, resulting in the grueling punishment of getting more tan and getting hit on by the ladies at Parker House because of it. Torturous Punishment.
Pete was ranked 1st.
- And then ODBJ got hurt. And then A-Rog got hurt. And then Zeke got suspended.
Mike was ranked 1st.
- Went on a 3 game losing streak .
I was ranked 1st
- Lost to Conor.
Chris was ranked 1st
(despite a slow start, I thought he was finally catching fire mid-season bc he put up 111+ points in 4/5 games.)
- Next two games: put up 65 pts in a loss to the league loser, put up 70 pts in loss to league winner.
Alex was ranked 1st
- 3 game streak of not breaking 80 pts, dropped from 2nd to 4th in points for. Prpbably.
Despite not knowing the outcome of Pete and Alex’s shootout, I think Alex has the best team at this time.
I didnt pick Kamara because I was worried about his touches and goal line opportunities, but until Ingram comes back, Kamara gets everything. Hella TD’s and Hella yards, especially in the passing game
KC run game looked atrocious. Mahomey fucking loves Tyfreak. If that keeps up Tyreek Hill might be the #1 overall WR.
Cousins was his typical good not great self, but he defintely has more options in Minnesota at WR.
If any WR scored 10 points a game garunteed, I’d snag em in a heartbeat. Thielen is your typical 1 TD and 50 yards recieving white WR.
Devonta didnt look hot, but he is still a top 10-15 RB that goes off every other week.
Jimmy Graham falling victim to packer’s TE curse, but Alex isnt worried because Jordan Reed is back (?)(
Also on his bench we’re: Carlos Hyde (12 pts), JArvis Landry was targeted a billion times (10 pts), and ADRIAN FUCKING PETERSON IS A LEAD, WORKHORSE BACK FOR THE REDSKINS AND ACTUALLY MIGHT BE FUCKING GOOD AGAIN (20 pts– 26 carries, 96 yards and 1 TD).
Plus he has Luck if Kirk goes below average. So yeah.
Put Dave over Pete here because, for the time being, as long as Le’veon bell is without a contract, Dave’s team is looking solid.
A-Rog being A-rog.
Saquon was the bright light of the Gints offense. Keenan Allen was so good last year…dude is officially back.
I can’t believe the Lamar Miller or Demaryius Thomas hype yet, but James Conner getting half the points of what he did yesterday puts Dave at 110+ a game
Finally we list the prodigal son. Though he might beat Alex, every single person on his team showed up to to do their jobs. No one went off. They all basically outscored their projections by a couple of points.
His team shows that if everything clicks, it can be solid and score in the 120’s. But I fear David Johnson’s ability to produce on an offense so shitty as the cardinals. Mixon having a 20 pt game is like seeing Haley’s Comet. And Julio and TY Hilton had great games this week…can they produce that every week?
I very well could eat my words next week lmao. He does have prophet on his side:
Brees was A1 to Michael Thomas.
It was the performance that lived up to all the hype between the two. AJ green is eh and has a fumbling problem, but still, he’s always in the top 5 WR discussion.
Despite shitty RB play, his WR’s, QB, and top scoring Vikings defense put him at 109 points (and that’s with 2 AJ green fumbles and negative scoring from Gillislee).
For now, Mike might have RB issue. But once Le’veon returns to his roster, he’s easily in the #1 conversation. But now I wonder if I am sticking my neck out by putting Mike at 4 without Leveon
Really the only remaining team with a somewhat respectable outing.
Cam was eh, but Melvin Gordon on the chargers is too juicy. Ajayi is “taking on a role similar to lagerrette blount when he was with the Patriots.” Ajayi is a decent sub for my Mckinnon injury, but he is probs going to be TD dependent because he’s in a committe. I got lucky he scored 2 touchdowns.
Not a great showing by my WR’s but that’s because Deshaun fucking sucks and so does sam bradford.
I ain’t worried though because Chris Thompson is back to being the GOAT recieving runningback, and the Raven’s defense always helps me out of a jam.
Daily Double was disappointed in his team this week but honestly, I think this was just an unfortunate week for bousshbo.
With Gurley left to play, his RB2 Jordan Howard put up a solid 10 points–double what he scored all of last year. Davante Adams had 14 points which is all you can ask for in a WR. When Alshon comes back (and wentz), Chris is set with his RB RB WR WR combo. And He has a choice between Rivers and Mahomes, both scored 28 points. His front office is set.
Chris’s score looks atrocious now because two of his player’s went out with injuries and did not return, and the saints earned him -9 points. With 56 pts, if TG2 scores his projection, he’ll have 72 points. If the saints did literally nothing, he’d have 81 points. Assuming Goodwin and Njoku don’t get hurt, in addition to not playing the saints, easily Chris would’ve scored 90+ points. And that’s with Hogan being shit today too.
Conor is better off than the rest of these hooligans below because his core four are better than what they did this week.
Dalvin Cook’s stats would look very different if he hadnt lost a fumble and gotten a few plays called back.
All of the bills sucked dick today. Couldnt do shit. You can’t blame Lesean for that. He always bounces back.
When you first star dating
when you’ve been dating for a year and have to keep yo bish in line
I hate his WB situation between Goff and Jimmy G, but ODBJ is a safe double digit scorer…and Josh Gordon and JuJu smitch-schuster might be only okay seperated, but together, they make 1 good WR.
Mark has TB12 and AB which alone will get him usually around 40-50 points a game garunteed. Everything else is week in and week out.
I had kareem last year and while his final season numbers we’re good, all I have are nightmares of how streaky he was. He either scores 40 points or no points. It depends if Andy Reid feels like running it a lot or throwing it a lot.
I hate doug baldwin. Everyone else thinks he;s solid. but he might be hurt.
It’ll be interesting to see if Marshawn does well with Gruden, but in any case, Mark has the upperhand on Jim and Mead because of his potential to soar if Kareem, Lynch, TB12 and AB all produce what we know they can.
Tentaviely, Jim is 9th. Depending on how well Amari Cooper and Robby Anderson do under new offensive changes.
Deshaun in a sophomore slump…?
Obviously, Zeke will be Zeke. Destruction.
Mike Evans had a big game as the saints and Bucs we’re ina shootout. I’d like to see how he does against a different team/defense. But I don’t really think I would trust Evans to score 10+ weekly right now…he was too atrocious last year.
Dont need to see Crowell play on the Jets, I know he’ll suck. Biggest fucking disappointment to me last year.
Frankly, right now I can’t trust Deshaun, Amari Cooper, Evans, Crowell week in and week out. Jim NEEDS Amari and Mike Evans to have bounce back years.
Mahomes doesnt target Kelce. Good 3rd round pick.
Jim’s team: Zeke vs. All
Hot start for Brick Bohemiath as Big Ben scores a chunk blowing 8 pts, Fournette goes out with a hamstring injury, Ertz clearly can’t do shit with Foles behind center, McCaffrey somehow got whiter, and even Stefon Diggs is worrisome as he was TD dependent with only 6 targets (compared to Thielen’s 12 targets) under Kirk. Spread the ball Kirk.
Mead has Kenny Stills (22 pts) and Dion Lewis (16 pts) on his bench, but we know they’re untrustworthy.
Right now, I just dont see a shining light for Mead. Hopefully MArvin Jones Jr. puts up numbers tonight to offer a little hope.
Live long MBL. Good luck. Let’s get after it. Another season of greatness